Ask me anything

your little wife looks so quiet and gentle, but she bites
- vladimir nabokov
so excited to spend the day surrounded by chain smoking sixteen year old frequenters of MySpace and zumiez #warpedtour (at Susquenna Bank Center)

so excited to spend the day surrounded by chain smoking sixteen year old frequenters of MySpace and zumiez #warpedtour (at Susquenna Bank Center)

1 week ago
0 notes
happy birthday @mbesh ! sorry we can’t be together today but I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I still can’t believe what an incredible year we’ve had since your last birthday and can’t wait for whatever’s next. luv u #nobodylikesyouwhenyoure23

happy birthday @mbesh ! sorry we can’t be together today but I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I still can’t believe what an incredible year we’ve had since your last birthday and can’t wait for whatever’s next. luv u #nobodylikesyouwhenyoure23

3 weeks ago
0 notes
happy pride! 🌈 #prideweekend #prideparade #prideboston

happy pride! 🌈 #prideweekend #prideparade #prideboston

1 month ago
0 notes

ps

No I have not read all of John Green’s books
Because, based on what I HAVE read, I do not want to
That is the whole point

1 month ago
0 notes

a simplified guide to sexualities

homosexual:sexually attracted to homer simpson
pansexual:gets off to various kitchen utensils
asexual:gets turned on by the first letter of the latin alphabet
demisexual:sexually attracted to you if and only if your blood is half divine
bisexual:can only have sex with two people ever. choose wisely
heterosexual:can only be satisfied by macklemore
1 month ago
187,428 notes

wienrs:

if you’re reading this i’m beautiful

(Source: mtvtr3s, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

1 month ago
411,951 notes
behr bitch blood brothers 🐻 
(love and miss you grandpa 12.10.31-6.29.13)

behr bitch blood brothers 🐻
(love and miss you grandpa 12.10.31-6.29.13)

1 month ago
2 notes
here’s my belate #tbt of the week—five years ago yesterday (July 3, 2009) I got the surgery that I spent the previous six years preparing for and the next six weeks with my jaw wired shut because of. I am now part woman, part titanium/plastic. The inside of my mouth looks like Frankenstein’s ass. happy 😁 anniversary to me

here’s my belate #tbt of the week—five years ago yesterday (July 3, 2009) I got the surgery that I spent the previous six years preparing for and the next six weeks with my jaw wired shut because of. I am now part woman, part titanium/plastic. The inside of my mouth looks like Frankenstein’s ass. happy 😁 anniversary to me

2 weeks ago
1 note
Oh my god this was three miles from my home the whole time  (at Turtle Pond)

Oh my god this was three miles from my home the whole time (at Turtle Pond)

1 month ago
1 note

actegratuit:

Installation view of Choi Xooang's solo show at the Musee d'Ansembourg in Liege, Belgium. 24 January-14 February 2014.

(Source: yatzer.com)

1 month ago
836 notes

Anonymous said: Hey John, I was just wondering what your explanation was for asserting yourself and appearing to be a very forward-thinking writer and I guess general social rights advocate, but yet you heavily play into the troped ideal of what's essentially the manic pixie dream girl, not to mention romanticizing extreme illness & suicide to your very young and definitely impressionable reader base.

fishingboatproceeds:

Have the people who constantly accuse me of this stuff read my books? Paper Towns is devoted IN ITS ENTIRETY to destroying the lie of the manic pixie dream girl; the novel ends (this is not really a spoiler) with a young woman essentially saying, “Do you really still live in this fantasy land where boys can save girls by being romantically interested in them?”I do not know how I could have been less ambiguous about this without calling the novel The Patriarchal Lie of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl Must Be Stabbed in the Heart and Killed.

When do I romanticize mental illness (or physical illness) in my novels? Pudge romanticizes Alaska in LfA, but the novel discusses in detail the way that his failure to imagine her complexly proves so disastrous to him and to her.

Who is made more special than they otherwise would be by illness? The characters in TFiOS talk about this fetishization of the ill constantly and with considerable vitriol. If I were hearing this from actual chronically ill people, it’d be one thing, but instead I’m hearing it from people who literally only seem to have read plot summaries. (Witness, for instance, the Daily Mail’s “sick-lit” article, in which no one who is quoted even pretends to have actually read the book they feel so comfortable attacking.)

The other attack going viral on tumblr at the moment is that I write novels about broken people who need saving, and that this encourages the romanticization of brokenness. Well, maybe there are wholly self-sufficient unbroken people who are able to thrive in complete isolation, succeeding solely by the sweat of their own Randian brows, but those are not the people I know or am interested in writing about. So yeah. I write about broken people who need other people in order to go on. But those are the only kind of people I know to exist. We are all broken. We all depend upon each other for support and compassion. That web of interconnected yearning and need is essential to my understanding of human experience, and I don’t find celebrating it problematic.

There are a lot of weaknesses in my books! I am not that great of a writer. I am happy to acknowledge these weaknesses: I tell too much and show too little. My plots are thin. I’m too fond of turning phrases. Imagistic stuff gets fogged up by inconsistent usage, especially in my first few novels. I care too much about ideas and not enough about story. There’s a kind of emotional disengagement in my work, like I’m always trying to make you conscious of the fact that this is a fiction and look at all the things this fiction is doing, which leads to people seeing the strings on the puppets and feeling pulled out of the narrative. They can get thematically obvious and repetitive (as when I disembowel the evil construction of the manic pixie dream girl twelve ways to Sunday in Paper Towns).

But all this crap about how I fetishize brokenness and lift up misogynistic constructions of young women and romanticize suicide is just (I think) totally unfair.

Books belong to their readers and you can do whatever you want with my stories. But I am super tired of being accused of contributing to suicidal ideation among young people. That’s a very serious and hurtful thing to say.

Sorry, I usually wouldn’t even reply to this stuff, but it floats around tumblr with tens of thousands of notes and that’s really frustrating to see and also I just got oral surgery so my mouth hurts so I’m cranky.

  1. waahhh oral surgery. nice cross you’re bearing there john. wanna compare stories? (you don’t.)
  2. want to read the fault in our stars? not sure if you want to read the fault in our stars? you don’t have to. a walk to remember was already written and if we as a collective audience haven’t realized things like the MPDG character telling the future bad boy male love interest YOU’RE GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME pretty much the first time they speak is weak and boring then i guess it doesn’t matter how many times we encounter this exact same plot concept because we’re never going to
  3. i have read some of john green’s books. not all. i even enjoyed reading. but his defense here is still off the mark. alaska, for example, is one of the most romanticized and fetishized character’s i’ve ever read. she was “interesting” when i read her as a pre-teen and even then i noticed how little depth she had. she reminded me of a friend of mine who i wanted to be who turned out to be a total flake. she is a hurricane. she smokes to die. she kills herself. and the purpose of ALL of those things happening (TO HER, these characters are always acted upon) is to play on the heart strings of the reader.
  4. if you were trying to dismantle stereotypes, john, doing so should probably a) happen before the very end of the book b) maybe only be evident in SOME, not ALL of your writing, and c) could be done by writing an interesting story that does not entirely rely on tropes, stereotypes, and easy drama such as illness (physical, mental, or otherwise). ever think of that? i’m writing about illness but i’m not taking advantage of illness when i write. maybe just….don’t.
  5. am i biased here? of course i’m fucking biased. i went to bookcon this weekend and couldn’t turn around without knocking a fault in our stars commemorative pin off of somebody’s hufflepuff backpack. it’s okay. not everyone has to be a member of the same fantoms. but, that being said, as someone who intends to write for a young adult audience, it is infuriating to see the same exact tropes reiterated over and over in EVERYTHING available to our younger readers when those who write for them have the opportunity (i would go so far as to say the obligation) to give them something better than that. john green did not write the book i’m about to cite but why give teens twilight when we could give them something like megan mccafferty’s sloppy firsts, a book about the actual issues they’ll actually encounter in their actual lives? (this is not to say that there is not a pedagogical function and in fact need for fantasy, which i fully believe there is; it’s to say there’s an issue with fantasy that promotes freaky stalkery abusive relationships and characters who would be completely ridiculous in real life—this i say because everyone who’s defended “augustus waters” [….come on] to me has said well yeah what he does would be weird in real life but it like totally works in the book!)
  6. YA should be able to be considered “literary fiction” and it isn’t because of books like this. whatever is written people will buy. i mean, christ. a.g. howard even has a fan base. this is not a supply/demand problem. this is a supply problem. write something that’s fucking good. give your female characters depth. give your male characters more credit. be a good enough writer to make ordinary every day things feel dramatic. don’t rely on easy plot lines with all their emotional impact already attached before you even touch them. i’ve read heart wrenching american short stories about going to the doctor’s office. these stories? walk into any first semester freshman writing workshop and look at how many of those stories rely on rape, pregnancy, drug problems, car crashes, divorce, etc. for drama rather than trying harder
  7. ^^^^ this is not to say that those issues do not deserve to be dramatic nor that they should not be written about. they deserve literature and respect. they are not respected when they’re used over and over as an excuse for stories to exist
  8. regardless of anything else you could say about them the character relationships in ayn rand’s novels are infinitely more complex than anything green is written, BECAUSE they are independent people trying to figure out how dependent they are willing to be on others
  9. ^^^ see? a gift. now anyone who wants to disagree with this has an easy out because i responded to him mentioning that terribly harpy ayn rand
  10. perhaps more than romanticizing illness you use illness instead of romanticism. does that make sense? should that be the case? IS THERE NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT JESUS CHRIST
  11. anyway, now i’m off to go give money to a corporation to give me more cancer which is actually just wasting money so i can carry a pack of soggy cigarettes around with me all the time to try to pick up chicks
  12. okay?
  13. okay.

(**i enjoyed looking for alaska when i read it as a teen. i enjoyed it the way people enjoy chewing gum. i used to think about lfa when i chain-smoked in the woods with my friends and we all clearly tried to be the most interesting girl in the room. we could be giving our teens—sorry, but ESPECIALLY OUR GIRLS—something more nutritious than that.)

1 month ago
13,656 notes

jerkidiot:

thebitterfrenchcanadian:

the fact that pretty teeth are only known as “white” and “straight” is a manifestation of our hatred for minorities 

when people find a way to turn dental hygiene into a social justice issue, that’s when you know this website has gone overboard

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

1 month ago
121,579 notes

cradily:

lets all just take a minute to appreciate the fact that everything that lives in the ocean lives in the fucking ocean and not on land with us

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

1 month ago
6,435 notes